Day 29 my proudest moment
I'm not very good at feeling proud. I tend to downplay my achievements. The times I did celebrate my achievements seemed to end up being a horrible experience.
So here is my proudest moment but with a bittersweet ending.
I've mentioned many times now I did a biological science degree before going into nursing. Genetics was my favourite subject, yes I've always been odd. I ended up in nursing but still enjoyed genetics and especially rare diseases. I remember working as a cardiothoracic nurse when the government were trying to introduce genetics and educating the workforce. This would have been around 2005 ish. I remember being so excited about this I set out putting together a learning programme for my colleagues. Unfortunately at the time my department did not share my enthusiasm and did not see the benefits of genetics.
That was that for genetics for several years, until I heard about a government project called the 100,000 genomes project which was announced by David Cameron in 2013. This sounded interesting. It looked like the government had overhauled it's previous genetics ideas and looked at genomics.
It took a little while longer before I noticed a job advertisement for a genomics research nurse working on the project. I couldn't believe my luck. This was exactly my ideal job. It was as if the job had been written especially for me. Of course I applied and soon I had my dream job. I was so excited.
Before long it became evident I would have a learning curve. I became an ambassador of sorts for the project. I had to learn project management skills, designing work flow diagrams and understanding change management and how to introduce new policies and procedures. As a band 6 nurse, you can imagine this was not something I had a lot of experience in. We don't often have a hand in changing work practices.
To begin with I often said, I'm only a band 6 nurse and my line manager told me off and said you are not only a band 6 nurse, you have the ability. It was this belief in me that made me start believing I could do it.
I'm so very proud of being instrumental in leading on the cancer and rare disease aspects of the 100,000 genomes project. My colleagues at Heartlands helped me immensely in showing who I needed to make connections with, How best to implement things, and without them I would have been lost. They had already worked on a similar project and so guided me and helped me succeed. Thanks especially to Hollie Bancroft who with her knowledge as a biomedical scientist allowed me to work with histopathology, and Amy Kerr who encouraged me and never let me feel discouraged. Also to the rest of the team, Jo T, Jo W and Salma who helped me a lot. I guess I should also include Liz for giving me the opportunity and Les who also helped however she could.
I may not have always done things right, I really was learning on the job, but I feel proud I managed to successfully set up the project. When the band 7 post came up I felt I had been working already at this level for some time. Of course I applied for it and felt excited I had an interview.
My interview however was at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham due to funding, and they are notoriously difficult to interview for. When I found out the interview was 3 hours I started to stress. I knew my job inside out but what if I didnt meet the grade at interview?
The interview was one of the most difficult I have ever been to. It really was like the apprentice when they get to the interview round. First I had my interrogation with 4 interviewers. They asked me everything and anything for a full 30 minutes. They really grilled me. Then I had to do a table top exercise. This consisted of havingbhalf an hour in a room on my own trying to ascertained if a portfolio of patients met the eligibility criteria to take part in the 100,000 genomes project. This wouldn't have been so bad but they included interruptions to make it like a proper work in environment. So I had to answer the phone and answer any queries posed me.
After that I was given 30 minutes to then put together a presentation on a topic only given to me on that day. I was given a flip chart and a pen and told to start. I'd always used PowerPoint for my presentations so writing everything down was new to me. I wrote constantly for the 30 minutes and I still didn't really have time to do that presentation. I then had to go back in to the same people who interviewed me and give my presentation. Theybthevgrilled me again on my topic. It really was nerve racking.
Afterwards I honestly thought I had messed everything up and hadnt done enough to get the job. I felt awful thinking I had messed up the best opportunity I had. I'd been for band 7 posts before and was never quite good enough to get the post. There was always something I was lacking, management experience, or the right skills.
They made me wait until after dinnertime the next day, and by then I'd already convinced myself I hadn't got the job. Can you imagine my surprise when they told me I had the job. They were willing to work with me and support me to help with my lack of experience. I had proved myself by doing the job previously. I was so overjoyed I cried and cried. It was a good job I was alone in the office that day. Crying in front of people is something I hate doing even if it was happy relieved tears.
Realisation suddenly struck me, I had finally managed to get a band 7 post working for NHS England.
Not long after this the QE, decided they wanted to reward staff for great achievements in the project. I was asked to attend a ceremony at the Trust to receive a certificate from the CEO Dame Julie Moore, to signify how many patients I had consented to the project. It was lovely being recognised and the Trust did a news article about it.
Soon Heartlands wanted to highlight the project and the award I had received and so I was interviewed by the communications lead. To be honest had forgotten all about it until I had a rude awakening.
One day I was reading my e-mails and noticed one from a histopathologist I dont normally interact with. Odd I thought, but opened it none the less. At first I thought oh how lovely is this. He started by saying how nice it was to see the Trust being recognised for taking part in the 100,000 genomes project. He then went on to declare how selfish he thought I was taking all recognition for myself. He said his whole department were distraught and disgusting at the fact I had not once mentioned anyone else and made it appear as though I had done everything myself.
As you can imagine this hurt me. I don't often take praise or acknowledge my achievements, so it was like the very first time I had managed to get praise it had been thrown in my face. I had never intentionally missed people out.
It made me very sad and had me questioning everything I had achieved over the last 18 months. Some people would have given up, but I dusted myself off, and carried on. This wasn't easy but I had a job to do. It did made me think about things before doing anything and probably a lot less trusting of my colleagues.
So you see, it was my proudest moment but also the cause of a lot of distress, but proved to myself I never give up regardless of what is thrown at me. I'm now even more reluctant to acknowledge my achievements in case I offend anyone else, but I continue as always.
So here is my proudest moment but with a bittersweet ending.
I've mentioned many times now I did a biological science degree before going into nursing. Genetics was my favourite subject, yes I've always been odd. I ended up in nursing but still enjoyed genetics and especially rare diseases. I remember working as a cardiothoracic nurse when the government were trying to introduce genetics and educating the workforce. This would have been around 2005 ish. I remember being so excited about this I set out putting together a learning programme for my colleagues. Unfortunately at the time my department did not share my enthusiasm and did not see the benefits of genetics.
That was that for genetics for several years, until I heard about a government project called the 100,000 genomes project which was announced by David Cameron in 2013. This sounded interesting. It looked like the government had overhauled it's previous genetics ideas and looked at genomics.
It took a little while longer before I noticed a job advertisement for a genomics research nurse working on the project. I couldn't believe my luck. This was exactly my ideal job. It was as if the job had been written especially for me. Of course I applied and soon I had my dream job. I was so excited.
Before long it became evident I would have a learning curve. I became an ambassador of sorts for the project. I had to learn project management skills, designing work flow diagrams and understanding change management and how to introduce new policies and procedures. As a band 6 nurse, you can imagine this was not something I had a lot of experience in. We don't often have a hand in changing work practices.
To begin with I often said, I'm only a band 6 nurse and my line manager told me off and said you are not only a band 6 nurse, you have the ability. It was this belief in me that made me start believing I could do it.
I'm so very proud of being instrumental in leading on the cancer and rare disease aspects of the 100,000 genomes project. My colleagues at Heartlands helped me immensely in showing who I needed to make connections with, How best to implement things, and without them I would have been lost. They had already worked on a similar project and so guided me and helped me succeed. Thanks especially to Hollie Bancroft who with her knowledge as a biomedical scientist allowed me to work with histopathology, and Amy Kerr who encouraged me and never let me feel discouraged. Also to the rest of the team, Jo T, Jo W and Salma who helped me a lot. I guess I should also include Liz for giving me the opportunity and Les who also helped however she could.
I may not have always done things right, I really was learning on the job, but I feel proud I managed to successfully set up the project. When the band 7 post came up I felt I had been working already at this level for some time. Of course I applied for it and felt excited I had an interview.
My interview however was at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham due to funding, and they are notoriously difficult to interview for. When I found out the interview was 3 hours I started to stress. I knew my job inside out but what if I didnt meet the grade at interview?
The interview was one of the most difficult I have ever been to. It really was like the apprentice when they get to the interview round. First I had my interrogation with 4 interviewers. They asked me everything and anything for a full 30 minutes. They really grilled me. Then I had to do a table top exercise. This consisted of havingbhalf an hour in a room on my own trying to ascertained if a portfolio of patients met the eligibility criteria to take part in the 100,000 genomes project. This wouldn't have been so bad but they included interruptions to make it like a proper work in environment. So I had to answer the phone and answer any queries posed me.
After that I was given 30 minutes to then put together a presentation on a topic only given to me on that day. I was given a flip chart and a pen and told to start. I'd always used PowerPoint for my presentations so writing everything down was new to me. I wrote constantly for the 30 minutes and I still didn't really have time to do that presentation. I then had to go back in to the same people who interviewed me and give my presentation. Theybthevgrilled me again on my topic. It really was nerve racking.
Afterwards I honestly thought I had messed everything up and hadnt done enough to get the job. I felt awful thinking I had messed up the best opportunity I had. I'd been for band 7 posts before and was never quite good enough to get the post. There was always something I was lacking, management experience, or the right skills.
They made me wait until after dinnertime the next day, and by then I'd already convinced myself I hadn't got the job. Can you imagine my surprise when they told me I had the job. They were willing to work with me and support me to help with my lack of experience. I had proved myself by doing the job previously. I was so overjoyed I cried and cried. It was a good job I was alone in the office that day. Crying in front of people is something I hate doing even if it was happy relieved tears.
Realisation suddenly struck me, I had finally managed to get a band 7 post working for NHS England.
Not long after this the QE, decided they wanted to reward staff for great achievements in the project. I was asked to attend a ceremony at the Trust to receive a certificate from the CEO Dame Julie Moore, to signify how many patients I had consented to the project. It was lovely being recognised and the Trust did a news article about it.
Soon Heartlands wanted to highlight the project and the award I had received and so I was interviewed by the communications lead. To be honest had forgotten all about it until I had a rude awakening.
One day I was reading my e-mails and noticed one from a histopathologist I dont normally interact with. Odd I thought, but opened it none the less. At first I thought oh how lovely is this. He started by saying how nice it was to see the Trust being recognised for taking part in the 100,000 genomes project. He then went on to declare how selfish he thought I was taking all recognition for myself. He said his whole department were distraught and disgusting at the fact I had not once mentioned anyone else and made it appear as though I had done everything myself.
As you can imagine this hurt me. I don't often take praise or acknowledge my achievements, so it was like the very first time I had managed to get praise it had been thrown in my face. I had never intentionally missed people out.
It made me very sad and had me questioning everything I had achieved over the last 18 months. Some people would have given up, but I dusted myself off, and carried on. This wasn't easy but I had a job to do. It did made me think about things before doing anything and probably a lot less trusting of my colleagues.
So you see, it was my proudest moment but also the cause of a lot of distress, but proved to myself I never give up regardless of what is thrown at me. I'm now even more reluctant to acknowledge my achievements in case I offend anyone else, but I continue as always.
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